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Most often all you have to go on is little more than a gut feeling that something is wrong, and a lessening of her time, interest and availability for you. While one or two of these signs alone might have little meaning, a longer list may well mean trouble ahead. She may start password protecting her computer or hiding her cell phone and credit card bills. If her job hours are suddenly erratic, or she seems to be putting in longer than normal hours, it may be an indication that she is carving out time for an affair. Excessive computer use can be an indication that she is carrying on an affair via webcam, chat rooms, or social media.

Such an affair could be purely online; it may also involve meeting in person. The ins and outs of most affairs are conducted via the phone, especially cell phones.

If she is conducting whispered conversations, taking her phone into another room to talk, or hanging up when you enter a room, you may have reason to worry.

If you still have a land line, you may experience hang-ups when you answer.

While her infidelity may reflect unaddressed problems in your relationship, it is more likely that she has lifelong challenges with relationship intimacy and deepening commitment, which are the kinds of issues that can often be successfully treated in good couples’ therapy.

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